I will be
doing a series about my life’s ups and downs.
Finally I come full circle. This
is part one. My life is a book hence me
writing about it but not sure of the content yet.
Looking
back to when I was a child. So many aspirations lay ahead of me, or so I
thought. Well actually they did it is
what I did with my choices that led me to where I am today.
As a
child your whole life is wide open and so full of excitement. The thoughts of being a ballet dancer,
singer, movie star and a teacher keep you going. It was the time of innocence.
Suddenly
one choice by one choice we start to steer away from our life’s dreams. Let me remind you that I had a wonderful
family life. My parents were
amazing. I however was a strong willed
child that wanted to do my own thing.
It was
the 60’s and 70’s and freedom for women, Vietnam War, peace and love was
everywhere. At this time I really wanted
to be a hippie but was too afraid. When
I became a teen life scared me and being able to do as I wished just vanished out
of fear. You see I was a “chicken” when it
came to venturing outside of my comfort zone.
There were parties I didn’t go to for fear of drinking or smoking weed,
etc. I settled myself to hide from my
fears. I also had to be "perfect." This was one of the worst choices
that I made. It would take me until I
was about 40 to shake fears and actually become a “woman” and regain my
strength.
Years
went by when I had a huge “L” on my head that I liked losers so come to
me. The downward spiral began until I
reached no self-esteem, lack of self confidence, and I gained weight so that
didn’t help with anything.