Attention Mom's, Dad's & Grandparents Take Photos and Journal Jot

Memories last a lifetime is a quote I have always heard.  Unfortunately as we get older there are times when we forget certain special times with our children, family and friends.

Since I lost my only child at the age of 17, I advise everyone to take as many photos as you can and don't stop when they get out of that "cute" stage.  Keep taking pics their whole life.  Pictures are one of the greatest mind joggers of memories every.  It is rewarding to see a picture and then remember the time.

I always tell people all that I have is pictures and memories.  Now to the memories, I am so afraid of forgetting something.  Your situation is different, start to "Journal Jot" every day.  "Journal Jot" is each and every day jot down something about the day concerning your children, husband, parents, friends & who ever you come into contact that day.  "Journal Jot" is different than journaling, of course I made this phrase up when I started to remember things from the past.  For example usually when you journal you write nice sentences and give it some emotional touches here and there.  "Journal Jots" are like the following and take less time.

• Dustin hit a grand slam 07-15-2001
• Mom hit a deer with her car
• My hubby brought me beautiful flowers
• My best friend Leah sent me a card

That is it.  Not a lot of thought process or time to "Journal Jot."  These "Journal Jots" will mean the world to you as you look back and it jogs your memory to a happy time or to something very important.

This week as I sat watching America's Got Talent the Backstreet Boys sang.  Honestly I didn't hear a word they said as the cobwebs of my mind were cleared and a beautiful memory came to me that I had forgotten.  My son may have been around 11 years old when he came from his room and handed me a CD and told to listen to "The Perfect Fan."  He then said, "It's all about you Mom."

I scrambled to get to a CD player to hear this song.  Then I sat there crying.  Why?  Because he realized I was there for him and I knew he loved me for that.  You see all through his sports....ahem....blush...everyone knew I was there.  I was a big cheerleader for the whole team.

Sharing some of my favorite photos.

Don't put it off start today to "Journal Jot."  Use a regular notebook, a steno pad (do they still make these?  lol) just start jotting down special events, saying, songs, everything needs to be jotted.

Start today taking pictures of everything you can!

Mother's Day When Your Child Has Passed

Holidays used to be such a joyous time.  Now each one brings on memories that were so wonderful yet sad.

 http://dustin-davis.memory-of.com/About.aspx

Mother's Day is fast approaching.  When my son Dustin was killed in 2005 I remember the next morning looking into a mirror and asking myself, "Who am I now?  For 17 years I have been a Mom and in an instant that is all gone."

It took me a while to realize I was still a Mom but on Mother's Day I go visit my child at the cemetery not their home.  I will take a lawn chair and set it up there by his side and talk to him for a while.  Play some of his favorites songs while there and leave.  It is so tough.

Meanwhile I am so blessed to have my Mom living with us.  Well I say blessed but not that I wanted Daddy to die but when he did she was afraid to live in the country by herself.  As Daddy was dying I told him it was okay to let go that I would take care of Mom as he had done for 64 years.

Having my best friend, Mom here is an experience I didn't appreciate growing up when she was MOM  and laying down the rules which now I am so glad she did.

Please remember that just because my Dustin is gone that I am still a Mom.  Feel free to wish me Happy Mother's Day because being his Mom was the greatest joy ever.  

Life as a Caregiver

Raining here and I am so excited it is the first time since we put our metal roof that it has rained.  It isn't like the good ol tin roofs but I can still here it.  So relaxing and I want to go to bed and just listen to the sounds.  Not today....maybe another day.

Dustin's Website 

The day my only child, my son, Dustin died my whole world came to a halt.  I was in a black hole that was sucking the life out of me.  From that day forward I didn't have a normal life, I lived an "abnormal normal" life.

One winter I met the man of my dreams.  Completely.  I wondered why it had taken so long to meet the true man for me.  We did everything together.  He taught me how to live again.  Life was so good.  I still grieved for Dustin but was learning to live through the pain.

February 11, 2011 Michael had got us our second cup of coffee.  We were in the computer room, he was on  his and me on mine.  All of a sudden he sneezed, belched so loud and made a horrible sound.  I asked him, "Are you going make it over there?"  He never answered.  I turn his chair around and then and there I knew he was having a stroke.  It was horrible.  I called 911 and of we went.  I hadn't combed my hair, had a shower, nothing just left.  They med-flighted him to Ohio State Medical Center.  

Since February 11, 2011 my life changed again.  I knew nothing about strokes.  I knew nothing about rehabs.  I learned so much and try to absorb all I could.

He was rehabs until June 23, 2011.  He got to come home and I was so excited.  I, of course, thought I was Super Woman and handle it all by myself.  We now have aides 10 hours a day.  Michael needs help 24/7 and cannot be left alone.

I am on my computer when the aides are here.  I love him and I will keep this up until I can't.  I recently had back surgery and next is shoulder.  At those times we have help around the clock.

July 11, 2011 my Daddy died.  Another change in directions for my life.  My Mom came to live with use because she didn't want to live in the country by herself    She is 83 years old and has more energy than me!  lol  Her and Michael are both perfectionist, I am so much the opposite.  They keep me hopping!  lol

I thank God that I am able to be here for both of them.  I miss going out with friends, going out of state to visit a wonderful and staying with her, and so much more.  God gives me the strength to keep going.

I love life, God and my family!