Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Changing Directions Series Part II - How to react when a change occurs

Changing Directions Series Part II

Obviously no two people react to a situation the same, we are all unique when it comes to reaction to trauma.

By now for most of you the trauma has come into your life, made your life take a huge detour and now you are headed in a different direction or directions unsure where to go what to do.

Let's focus, relax and take a deep breath.  I know this is hard but sit right at this moment, take deep breaths and allow yourself a few minutes to relax.  How long has that been?  How to relax here  Take a hot bubble bath, a long shower, walk, eat, whatever it takes to relax, just do it.

Allow yourself to grieve, it is normal and healthy to a point to get us through loss of a Loved One, rape, divorce, career loss, etc.  Grieving is supposed to be a healing process and in comes in no particular order for each one of us again it is different.

Here comes a tough one.  Allow yourself to laugh.  You may be like me after I lost my son Dustin.  I felt guilty to laugh or thought if I did laugh everyone would think I was "over" Dustin's loss.  Believe me nobody ever thinks that only we do in our heads.  Our friends and family love to see us laugh.  I am sure my son Dustin is so happy now that I can laugh, we did that so much.  Laugh at something, movie, joke, something just laugh.  Laughing in itself is very healing.

This series is short but you have homework...yes but no grading....that is the good thing.

  • At this point you are in life, the change has happened, where you are now, how are you grieving?  Write down each emotion and action.
  • set times to relax totally relax three times a day, set your schedule
  • call that friend that you haven't talk to forever, make the first move, yes it's hard but worth it
  •  go to a private place allow yourself to cry, talk to God, your Loved One, your cause of this change.  Scream, yell, cry and talk.  Talk to yourself, yes to yourself, we all do it, it is soothing too.
  • pick a book, any book and read one chapter
  • watch one news program national news 
  • watch a TV show completely and actually listen to it
  • allow yourself to laugh, come on you can do this
  • relax

Now for most of you none of the above has happened in a long time well it's about time, let's go let's start on helping to learn to live with a broken heart.

After you have done the above write in your journal how each made you feel.  Be honest if you actually felt good for a change.  I am giving you suggestions it is up to you to work your program.  Journal, Journal, Journal!

I know you don't feel like doing this crap but for yourself and the ones that love you please try.

You can share your results, email me myeclecticloft@gmail.com or keep it to yourself, private.  No pressures to share.  Just do it!

Love, thoughts and prayers,