Monday, June 17, 2013

A change is happening in your life or has happened ****Changing Directions Series Part I

Let me start by saying I am not an expert, a counselor, no license to be one.  I am a woman who has experienced many traumas in my life and from those I learned how I coped and survived and want to share that process with others.  I am not responsible if what I suggest does not work in any way for you.  Everyone has their own way of surviving.

Monday June, 17 2013

Part One A change is happening in your life or has happened
Stories of my Life series all please read first find here.  Or:
Story of my life the early years here 
Story of my life Part II here
Story of my life Part III here
Story of my life Part VI here 
My Dv Story here

Something has happened in your life.  Many occurrences bring about change, trauma, life changing.  It may be loss of a Loved One, divorce, rape, job loss all of these take their toll in our emotions and our every being.  Having lost a child I would never compare that to the others however these changes occur and they consume every fiber of our being.

In this series these instances will be called "detours."  A change in direction from what we are used to or the norm.

I relate this to going on a trip to a place you are unfamiliar with and you see the dreaded detour signs.  Oh just great, the detours take you off in another direction than what you had planned.  You need to adjust and follow the detour path.

When a life changing event happens it detours us from our normal lives that we are living.  We are thrown into new territory that is not  known to us at all.  What do we do here?  Where do we go?  How can I make it?

The first thing is to get a pad and pen, go to a mirror, write down everything you see.  Look even deeper to inside your soul.  What is there?  The feelings, emotions, the pain, etc.  At the end write how you see yourself without the mirror.  We are oftentimes too hard on ourselves as we don't see what others see.

Now ask three friends to describe you in three words.  Write those down too.

The hardest task is looking inside at the pain because let's face it the word is pain for a reason.  You must do this to face all that is life changing in you life.

What has brought you to the detour and to Change Directions in your life?

When you have quiet time sit down with your lists.  Admit weaknesses  hurt, pain, loneliness, etc.  This is very difficult but you must find the main detour that has made you change directions.  To get back to an "abnormal normal" (Lisa Church) life we have to face the things we don't want to and live the detoured life.  There is no way getting around it.

Cry, scream do whatever you must to look at this.  Let me tell you if you have lost a child your heart will never stop hurting, we learn to live with the hurt.

Feel free to share your change if you want to email my email is  All emails will be kept private.

Join a conversation.

All of my thoughts and prayers to all

Tuesday, June 18, 2005 we will be discussing how to react when the change occurs. Please join us.