I will be doing a series about my life’s ups and downs. Finally I come full circle. This is part one. My life is a book hence me writing about it but not sure of the content yet.
Looking back to when I was a child. So many aspirations lay ahead of me, or so I thought. Well actually they did it is what I did with my choices that led me to where I am today.
As a child your whole life is wide open and so full of excitement. The thoughts of being a ballet dancer, singer, movie star and a teacher keep you going. It was the time of innocence.
Suddenly one choice by one choice we start to steer away from our life’s dreams. Let me remind you that I had a wonderful family life. My parents were amazing. I however was a strong willed child that wanted to do my own thing.
It was the 60’s and 70’s and freedom for women, Vietnam War, peace and love was everywhere. At this time I really wanted to be a hippie but was too afraid. When I became a teen life scared me and being able to do as I wished just vanished out of fear. You see I was a “chicken” when it came to venturing outside of my comfort zone. There were parties I didn’t go to for fear of drinking or smoking weed, etc. I settled myself to hide from my fears. I also had to be "perfect." This was one of the worst choices that I made. It would take me until I was about 40 to shake fears and actually become a “woman” and regain my strength.
Years went by when I had a huge “L” on my head that I liked losers so come to me. The downward spiral began until I reached no self-esteem, lack of self confidence, and I gained weight so that didn’t help with anything.